Sam & Dean: Mom Series

Chapter One:

Sam, sitting on the edge of the bed has been following his big brother's pacing with his eyes. He had wanted to say a lot of things for the past half hour to the older boy already, but he only got as far as gape and that was it. He couldn't go further; the look on his big brother's face was scary to him. He knows hurting him would be the last thing on earth Dean would ever do to him, but still---Sam was scared of upsetting his big brother further. It may not be him the older boy has grief with---and yet he feels how his old man feels at the moment; being the one Dean is actually mad at.

His eyes follow Dean head for the door--he would have called out for him, only he recalled the look on Dean's face; so he didn't. But he got as far as stand up thought; and that was it. He clamped his mouth shut instead as he watched the older boy leave the room with a slam. Sam sat back down and sighed a big one. Being in an unfamiliar motel room and being in one for the very first time, it was something new to the boy. It made him uncomfortable as hell. But having Dean with him though, was a big consolation. He didn't feel as weird since his big brother was there. He was about to sigh a heavier version from the first one he did earlier, only it was cut short after the door re-opens and in comes Dean in the doorway.

This time, Sam gets up again and took a step.

"You hungry, little brother?" he calls out to Sam. "I'm starving!" he added; giving his tummy a rub and a loud tap. "What do you say about headin' up to that diner across the street with me for some grub, huh?" Dean says with a big grin on his handsome face; all the anger and rage---gone without a trace whatsoever. But the cuts and bruises aren't; both from the ordeal he had with his kidnappers and the ones from their old man just barely an hour ago. It made Sam grimace seeing them. It hurt him; especially the new cuts their dad did on Dean because of him.

"Dean," Sam starts to say as Dean was turning towards the door again.

"Yo?" he turns to face his little brother who was walking towards him at the doorway. "You don't feel like going out?" he says, "It's alright, Sam--I'll just get us grub to go. You stay here. I'll be back in five. You lock the door after I leave."

A hand on his jacket stops him from taking another step outside the door. Dean looks over his shoulder and caught Sam's concerned face.

"Sam, let's just get through this night without trying to fix anything, alright? I'm just too tired, kiddo." Dean says exasperatedly. Sam let him go. Dean was able to turn to face him now. "Let's just---let's just try and stay off that path for now, please? Cause I just don't want to talk or hear anything about him--about mom---about...about your drinking and you're being stupid for drinking. So let us not, alright?" he goes on, "All I want to do right now is get us something to eat---take a quick shower and then sleep. That's it! But if you're just gonna push with this---you're just gonna have to stay here by yourself tonight, kiddo. Cause I'm renting the room next door instead. Do you want that, Sam?"

"Dean, surely you must feel anger towards me, man." Sam says, eyeing his big brother's cuts and bruises.

"If you push about talking about dad, you can bet I'm gonna be angry, Sam!"

"No, Dean...not about that...not about dad." Sam says quietly, "About---about getting hurt because of me."

Dean responds with a thinking face, three beats and he comes up with a, "Nope."

"Even just a little bit?"

"Not even!" Dean says.

"Why not?" the younger boy whines.

"I just don't. You have a problem with that?"

"Yes!" Sam spat.

"Well tough! That's your problem not mine!" Dean nonchalantly says while turning to leave, but Sam grabs his arm making the older boy turn to face him.

"Dean," Sam says, "... I'm sorry."

"You didn't do anything stupid besides the drinking did you, Sammy?"

"What?" Sam spat; brows all scrunched-up, "No."

"Drugs?"

"No." Sam's face gets distorted at the randomness of the questions courtesy of his big brother.

"Father a kid?"

"Dude, you know that's unlikely to happen. And you know why."

"Right." Dean says, "Virgin."

"Deeeaaaannn???" Sam whines even louder.

"Didn't do drugs--didn't get laid---" he says, "Did you kill anybody?" Dean further asks him.

"Yeah, I killed the next door neighbor's cat and Mrs. Susanna's labradoodle!" Sam bats agitatedly,"What is with all this, man? Are we playing 20 questions here? Cause now is not the time, Dean. Seriously."

"Answer the question, Sammy!" Dean orders, "You didn't do any of these stuff, did you?"

"Duh!" Sam snaps. "You know I didn't, Dean."

"What was the apology for then if you didn't?" Dean asks which got Sam stumped. He looks Dean in the eyes sadly before averting them away. "Sam?"

"Dad hurting you." he says quietly. "I'm really sorry about that, Dean. It was my fault."

"Sammy--stop this..."

"And you're not supposed to be in a crabby motel room with me, Dean. Right now, you should be back home, in your own bedroom--in clean clothes, resting. After everything you went through with those bastards--you should be resting. But instead, you're here. NOT resting." Sam says sadly, "You stood up to dad for me and this is the thanks you get for it. I am such a lousy little brother you should just---you should just put me up for adoption or something, Dean."

Sam says, sitting heavily on one of the beds in there; his bed.

"Like a puppy?" Dean says.

"Or divorce me." Sam deadpans his big brother.

"Are we married, Sam? I don't remember getting a proposal, dude!" Dean laughs. Sam looks up and met his gaze with a glare."What? You only get divorced if you're married, Sammy! And you only GET married if you're not related. And we are brothers, genuis! We can never EVER get married. Cause that would be wrong. And not to mention super creepy in my book. Well, in anybody else's book really." he rambles. "And last time I checked, we're not married, Sam! So that means divorce is out of the question!"

Sam sighs just as heavily.

"I'm being serious, Dean." Sam says, "I am really really really sorry."

Dean found a spot on the bed across from his kid brother on the other bed. He gives out a sigh himself before speaking.

"Sam,"

"What?"

"It was not your fault." Dean says with a serious tone. "None of it was your fault, you hear?" he added gently; he even manages to place a warm hand on his kid brother's knee and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

Chapter Two:

Mary is at the den, sulking. She hasn't slept a wink last night. With two of her boys gone this time around---it was a cause for alarm on her part. Her family of four is now at the brink of turning into that of two; just like before they had both their boys. But unlike those years after they got married, this was not a happy moment for her--or for John. She knows her husband loves her kids immensely, but she also knows how much Dean's love for his baby brother would put anybody's else's affection to shame in comparison to how much he loves Sam; their dad's included and her's.

Her eyes get pulled towards the direction of the kitchen swinger which was obstructing her view of the room behind it where her husband's at at the moment; John and the broken down dinner table that was the aftermath of Dean's fist to it last night. Tears started to trickle down her the sides of her face. The next thing her eyes saw are the line up of framed photos on top of the piano at the far end of the den. She finds herself getting up and walking towards that part of the room.

Looking at photos of her boys from way back when they were babies to the most recent ones; taken a month ago, wherein the brothers are always together, that only made her cry even harder that her body was shaking. She picks up the most recent photo and hugged it to her chest. She was worried and sad. But at the same time, she is taking solace on the fact that they are together; that they will be watching each other's back, like always.

"I'm sorry..."

The apology that came in her husband's voice made her turn around. Mary's heart immediately went to John after she saw how miserable he looked. She took the first step and found her way towards him; John met him halfway and then they both fell into a comforting embrace.

"I'm gonna find them, Mary." John whispers to his wife's ear in between heart-wrenching sobs. "I give you my word. I am getting our boys back."

----------------

Sam is stretching away all the kinks he can find in his back. And he is wearing a big grimace on his face while giving his big brother a big sharp glare.

"So, why can't we have picked a room with two beds again, Dean?" he snaps with an annoyed tone and look on his face. "I mean, we HAD a good room last night with two beds in it, didn't we? But then you just had to insist on transferring after you found a little bitty spider on your bed!"

"Hey it was not a bitty spider, Sammy!" Dean snaps back; he was coming out of the bathroom after grooming himself in there. "It was a big one! It could have been a tarantula or something! It was as big as my fist!" he even puts up his fist for emphasis.

"What?" Sam blurts incredulously, "I could barely see it with wide eyes, Dean...let alone squinting at it!" he says, "Dude, you have got to get over your irrational fear of spiders man! It's pathetic!"

"Irrational fear of spiders my ass! Those things carry poison in their---their...teeth or fangs--or whatever you call those claw-thingy they have, Sammy!" Dean bats, "So that means that my aversion to spiders is founded, genius! Yours however is just ridiculous! Whoever heard of poisonous clowns?" he wraps up with a condescending laugh on Sam's expense; sprawled on the single bed that they shared last night as he was clicking on the clicker for a good show on tv.

"Hey it was your fault for making me watch that Stephen King movie when I was 6, you jerk!"

"There were no poisonous clowns in them either, Sam!" Dean points out.

"I'd take poisonous clowns over the ones in that movie any day, Dean! That movie scared the crap out of me!"

"That's cause your a pansy, kiddo!"

"And you're a freakin' bully!"

"Yeah, yeah whatever, bitch!" Dean dismisses him. Sam heads about to changing out of his pajamas and putting on his jeans and hoodie over them.

"By the way, I recall volunteering to give you my bed last night instead, Miss Muffet."Sam goes on saying, "So why couldn't we have just stayed there, Dean?" he says in reference to the previous room they were in last night, "I mean, if we're gonna have to stay here for much longer---I really need to have a bigger bed, man. I mean, I can understand why this bed is okay with you, what with you being a dwarf and all. But I'm a normal person of normal size, Dean. I need a bed for normal people."Sam finishes as he stood alongside the bed, looking down on Dean; a big condescending smile on his face just like what Dean was using in his laugh earlier.

Dean clicks the tv off and then he swings his legs to the side of the bed. Eyes on Sam, he slowly got up in that they are face to face when he was all the way up. He then smirks cockily.

"Alright, snow white--let's get you a normal bed, shall we?" Dean says smugly. And then he walks around Sam towards the door. Sam who was following Dean to the door calls out to him; Dean acknowledges but he doesn't turn around nor stop walking. "Yeah?"

"How come, you didn't just take my bed last night, Dean?" Sam asks, "It could have saved us all the trouble and me, back pains?"

Dean waits up for Sam at the door before he opens it. "If that spider had turned out to be poisonous, do you think I'd have let you get stung instead, kiddo? Dude, no way!" he says. And then he opens the door for Sam, "Age before beauty." he says, pumping his brows playfully at his little brother.

"I'd say brains before beauty, Dean." Sam says as they are walking down the hallway next to each other.

"No arguments there!" Dean bats smugly, jiggling his keys in his hand while batting Sam a cocky grin. Sam sneaks his big brother a glance as they were getting the Impala out of the parking lot; he could not help but recall what Dean said.

"If that spider had turned out to be poisonous, do you think I'd have let you get stung instead, kiddo? Dude, no way!"

Sam smiles appreciatively to this as he averts his gaze away from Dean to his side of the window.

'You've always looked out for me, Dean.' Sam says in his head, 'Always.'

KKRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTT

Sam's phone in his pocket rang. They caught each other's gaze. Dean puts out his hand palm up.

"Give it!" he orders. Sam immediately does. After Dean got the unit in his hand, he turns it off altogether. "He's got to learn from his mistakes, Sam. Otherwise how is he gonna learn not to go back on his word." he says in reference to their old man. Back on his big brother's face was the look that Sam feared. And dreaded.

Chapter Three:

Sam is sneaking glances at his big brother behind the wheel. It may have already been five minutes since the phone call on the younger boy's unit from home and yet Dean still hasn't let go of the agitated look he was wearing. Especially when the name that read on the screen had been 'dad.' After he read it, the name on there, Dean immediately felt his protective big brother mode kick-in. In every way, he is that way to his little brother---protective.

The Impala's horn just blasted after Dean pounds on it; coupled with few choice cussings on the side. It was after a car cut right in front of them.

"Dean," Sam finally found the courage to speak up. Dean may not have turned to him, but he did show signs that he was at least listening. He acknowledges Sam verbally.

"Yeah?"

"...do you maybe, want me to drive for awhile?" the kid offers.

"What?" Dean bats and tosses Sam a quick glace before going back to watching the rad ahead, "Why?"

"I don't know, cause you kind'a look...well..like you're upset over something." At this, the older boy turns to him again, but this time with his brows even more scrunched up on his forehead that they were before, making Sam swallow the lump that from out of the blues formed on his throat.

"I think I'm capable of driving my car fine thank you very much." Dean remarks.

"Owkhay," Sam replies while turning his face away to his side of the window. "...it was just a suggestion, Dean."

"And I'm not upset either."

"Of course." Sam scoffs but was subtle enough to try and hide it; only Dean still read between the tone.

"I'm not!"he says agitatedly.

"I know!" Sam snaps back.

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Would you just stay on your side of the car, Sam?"

"I don't see myself sitting on your lap right now, Dean. Do you?" Sam spat with narrowed eyes at his big brother. Dean growls at this remark.

"Bitch!"

"Jerk!"

"Shut up, Sam!"

"Whatever, Dean!"

They drove for the next minutes in silence until they found themselves in front of a diner. After turning the engine off and taking the keys out of ignition, Dean turns to his little brother.

"You hungry?"

"Starved."

"Let's go!" Dean says while grabbing the door, "By the way, Sam---" he says while getting out.

"Yeah?"

"---since you hate snuggling with me so much..." Dean continues as he was walking around the front of the car to where Sam had just gotten out of the Impala from the passenger side up front.

"I wouldn't say hate." Sam remarks.

"...yeah well too late for that." Dean says, "We are instead going to go camping."

Sam laughs. But then after he saw Dean wearing a lop-sided cocky grin on his face, the younger boy's face turned serious.

"You're joking?" he says.

"Nope." Dean replies as they stood beside the Impala next to each other. "We are going camping in the woods, little brother. You, me and nothing but the wilds." he even makes emphasis to this by gesturing vaguely with his hands in mid air like he was reading an invisible welcome banner of some sort.

"You can't be serious, Dean?"

"Oh, I am." Dean says.

"But you hate camping?" Sam spat.

"I do not!"

"Yes you do, Dean. I remember these things. I have a good memory."

"Right." Dean scoffs, "Of course you do. You're gifted."

"What does that suppose to mean, I'm gifted?" Sam scowls, even lightly slapping his big brother on the arm with the back of his hand.

"What? That you have gifts. I didn't mean anything by it."

"Your tone says otherwise, dude."

"I don't see why that's even my problem." Dean says, "You just read way too much into conversations it's annoying."

"Dean, we can't go camping. I'd just curl up on the bed later, okay? Or sleep on the floor instead. I won't even be complaining as much anymore. I promise. Let's just ditch the camping plan, dude?"

"I already made up my mind, Sam. And I can't let you sleep on the floor..."

"Just on the cold ground?"

"It will be fun!" Dean says ignoring Sam's whining with a big happy taunting grin on his face. Sam gruntles incoherently to this while turning his back on his brother.

"Okay, how bout this." he resumes to try and convince Dean and talk him out of the camping business, "Remember that time, your 11th birthday? You hated camping so much but dad forced you and me to go anyways...so what you did? You deliberately got yourself lost there so mom wouldn't let us go ever again?" Sam goes on to ramble; upon turning to face Dean though, he finds himself alone since the older boy had already started walking away towards the diner. "Damn it!"

Dean, holding the door to the diner open, turns to his little brother who was still next to the car in the curb. "Sam, after you're done talking TO yourself there, little brother---you maybe want to join me for breakfast?" he teased before going inside eventually.

"Why I even respect and love this guy---I'll never know!" Sam growls frustratedly as he does follow Dean to the diner.

When Sam got inside the diner, after scanning the place with his eyes, he suddenly felt stupid after a second for even doing that; since he already knows which table Dean would be at. It has always been his big brother's MO ever since that time he and Dean were able to go out on their own years back for the first time and they ate at a diner. The younger boy remembers picking the table at the farthest end of the diner that time and even telling Dean the reason why; since then, whenever they would go eat outside, Dean automatically finds the table Sam would want to sit in. It made him smile as he was headed there.

Sam sees Dean on the phone. As he was sitting on the seat across the table from his big brother, he realized who Dean was even talking to.

"Mom, we're not going back. Not right now anyways." Dean says; avoiding Sam eyes entirely. "Dad went back on his word. I can't have that. Granted Sam had something to do with it---still that wasn't reason enough for him to lay a hand on the kid!"

Dean looks up and saw the wary look on his baby brother's face just then; to break the tension, the older winks at the kid playfully before getting up to take the call in private. But before he did that, he mouthed to Sam that he was gonna do just that. After he got a nod from the kid, only then did Dean head for the a few feet away to a corner to resume the conversation with their mom.

As he sat there watching his big brother, despite the situation their family is under at the moment, he realized that he's not even the least bit hopeless. And he also just realized as well that he already knows the answer to his question to himself earlier, about the reason why he respects and loves his big brother, it made him smile.

Chapter Four:

When Dean got back to the table, his mood more or less was no longer playful. He was on the phone for quite a long time before he did return to the table to have breakfast with his little brother. Judging by his body language earlier and both his fist and jaw clenching and unclenching, Sam was sure John relinquished the phone from Mary and that he had been the one the older was talking to until the call was wrapped up. The entire meal was highly unpleasant for the younger boy, Dean wasn't talking and he was wearing a blank expressionless look on his face when he would once in awhile look up from his plate. Every time Sam would start opening his mouth to start up a conversation, Dean would quickly avert his gaze from him back to his plate. This happened for several times until Sam just gave up trying altogether.

They were coming out of the diner and on their way back to the car; with Sam walking behind his big brother who still wasn't saying anything to him. And Dean looked deep in thought too. Sam could just sigh frustratedly at this as he was watching his big brother's back of the head. When they both got to their respective sides of the car, Dean was about to get in when Sam taps the roof of the car catching Dean's attention just then.

"I forgot something in there." Sam says. Dean gave him a look and then nodded before getting in behind the wheel. Not a single word was spoken. The younger boy as he was walking back towards the diner counted mentally, 'It's been a freakin' hour and he's still not talking.' he says with a groan. 'What the hell could dad have said to him to make him more upset that he already has been anyways?' with a head shake, Sam looks over his shoulder at his big brother who was sitting in the Impala with a far away look in his eyes directed to the street in front of him. 'This is all my fault. I'm sorry, man.' he says to Dean, only the older boy was far enough to have heard him say it. The kid then goes back in the establishment.

-------------

He looks at his watch. And then his green pair wanders towards the front of the diner where his Sammy had gone in almost 5 minutes already. Then he rubs his face frustratedly before getting out of the car to go after his younger brother. After locking the car, he finds himself at the entrance of the said diner next and scanning the place for his baby brother. He was half expectant to see the younger boy there, eating again and just forgetting the time; either that or that he was expecting to find the boy there reading the news and deliberately ignoring the fact that his big brother was out there waiting in the car. Only he was wrong in both. Sam was not in there at all. He even checked the restroom and it yielded the same result. The kid was nowhere inside the diner altogether.

Dean stood at the curb beside the car and was scanning the outside of the diner, the streets.

No Sam anywhere.

'Damn it, Sam!' he growls in his head, "Not now, kiddo!" he says. 'Not now!'

-------------

Dean spent the next couple of hours driving around the vicinity to look for Sam. He tried calling his brother's cell phone a number of times earlier too, only it went to voice mail since Sam's phone was turned off. When he still couldn't find him after several more minutes of looking, that's when he decided to head back to the motel. When he got inside their motel room; feeling crappy as hell, when he opened the door, what he did next---he had no idea where it came from. What happened was, after Dean found Sam coming out of the bathroom just then, he throws himself at the younger boy; dashing across the room for him, grabbing him by the scruffs of the jacket and roughly throwing him across the bed angrily. The force used on him by the older boy had Sam thrown at the bed and against the head board; Sam's back of the head hitting the thing hard and with a loud thud.

The older boy started to cuss angrily and say harsh things as he was pacing the length of the room just then; when midway what he was doing---after his eyes caught Sam sitting up on the bed nursing his head, the older boy's fuse automatically got doused over. The anger dissipates on cue.

"Sam?" Dean calls out. But Sam wouldn't even look up. He kept his gaze as low to his chest as possible. The older boy crouches in front of the younger and gently goes about nursing the kid's back of the head himself. "Let me see it." he says. "Does it hurt?" he asks in concern.

"Dean, it's cool, man." Sam says assuredly. His eyes finding his big brother's.

"There was a 'thud', dude. I heard a freakin' 'thud', man..." Dean says worriedly. He gets up and goes about nursing the younger boy's back of the head, even swatting Sam's hand away whenever the younger boy would try and get in there himself. "Hands off, Sam!" he tells him off.

"Dean, it just looks worse than it feels, man." Sam says to try and make his big brother worry less, but Dean just ignores him. He watches the older boy going for his duffel and digging for a first-aid kit from in there. "You carry a first-aid kit with you everywhere?"

Dean holds it up when he was back in front of Sam. He shrugs. "Course."

Sam looks at him with a perked brow."Why?"

"For times like this." Dean replies, and then he starts digging for items from the kit he was gonna need to clean Sam's cut on the head with. "Hold still, okay? This could sting a bit." he says. "You ready?" he asks Sam with a grimace on his face.

"Yeah, yeah, sure." Sam says. While Dean was cleaning his cut, Sam was smiling as he sat there. After awhile, "Dean?"

"Sam, would you quit talking even for just a second dude?" Dean says, "I can't concentrate here with you yapping in my ear! Just let me finish this first, okay? And then we'll talk."

"Dean, are you still mad at me?" Sam says, ignoring Dean altogether. "You know, for taking off like that?"

Dean doesn't say anything; he just kept on with what he was doing. After a couple of minutes, when he was done and was putting back the first aid kit inside his duffel, when Sam asks him the same question again; he responded with sigh. He pulls up a stool from the dresser and then sat on it across the room from Sam sitting on the bed facing him.

"Sam, what do you think?" Dean asks calmly. "Do you think I'm still mad? You tell me? No wait, I know.. why don't you tell instead why I am even mad in the first place?"

"I have my reasons."

"Humor me." Dean says with his tears starting to film his eyes just then but he was fighting real hard not to shed. "Go ahead, Sammy." But Sam doesn't say anything. "Kid, looking at you right now, knowing you well enough Sam---I can tell that this was something trivial. One of those spoiled brat routines you use on me whenever you couldn't get your way. It was, wasn't it?"

"Dean, I just want wanted you to talk to me..."

"Sonuva---" Dean grabs his short hair frustratedly after hearing the response. The next thing was, he gets up and turns on the stool he was sitting on; after he was done with it--it lay broken by the floor after it hit the wall when he flung it. Sam even found the need to get up from the bed and back away from Dean after he saw how angry his big brother looked.

"Dean, I'm sorry..." he says.

Dean ignores him. He grabs his keys by the nightstand and heads for the door. He turns to Sam long enough to yell at him. "You leave this room...or go anywhere without me or without telling me again, Sam, and I swear to god---"

The older boy then leaves the room with a door slam.

Chapter Five:

They never really fought like most brothers would that usually end up in falling out. It never occurred to them to enable anything intense that could forever ruin the flawless brotherly bond that they share. He and his big brother argue and banter; but their arguments are mostly harmless ones and simply just brotherly. And when they do have issues, they quickly resolve it without much fuss. They don't wait for the other to make the move first in addressing said issues, they just have it in them to initiate patching up with each other at the exact same time; it's just like they share the same brain. Both boys spoil each other because of one simple truth. It's because they have great respect, fierce devotion and unconditional brotherly love towards the other. Hence, have always been careful of their sibling connection all these years; a fact that has always made their parents proud of them.

After the door slammed after the older boy when he left their motel room, every instinct in Sam told him to go after Dean right away; like he would normally do before whenever they argued over something, but somehow, this time; his legs won't allow him to do that. And mostly, his common sense was holding him back too. The boy has never seen his big brother THAT angry before and at him no less. It was unnerving for him.

He has seen his big brother angry plenty of times before, but not as angry as earlier. All those years they were growing up side by side each other, in every given time, it has never ever once been directed at him --- Dean's anger. Only just barely minutes ago, for the first time--it was. Or so, Sam thought--what with his big brother, his hero laying a hand on him the way he did earlier.

The 18 year old's eyes wander towards the door as he slowly sat on his bed there. His eyes starting to water. "Maybe taking off on him like that wasn't such a good idea." he says to himself regretfully, he smirks humorlessly, "Yah think, Sam?" he scowls at his earlier remark. 'But what else was I supposed to do? He wasn't talking.' he defended himself in his head. He sat there staring at the floor by his shoes before he resumes having a conversation with himself. "Doesn't matter now. There's no way he's talking to me for a very long time after this." he sighs heavily. "Great going Sam!" he scoffs, burying his face in his hands.

It wasn't a couple of hours later when a pair of lids started to flutter revealing pools of brown under them. Sam slowly sat up on his bed; he was just realizing just then that he had somehow fallen asleep waiting for Dean to come back earlier. And his big brother is apparently back since he could hear movement inside the bathroom. It wasn't long before he actually laid eyes on his big brother coming out of there. Their eyes met but they both quickly avert it from each others at the same time. Dean walks past his little brother sitting on the bed towards the table by the door where a brown paper bag was sitting. He grabs it and brought it back to Sam.

"Here, brought you dinner." Dean says; after Sam took the bag, he watched the older boy find a seat on the stool across the bed he is on. "You better start eating, kiddo. We're taking off in a few. I already called Pastor Jim. I'm dropping you off there. You're staying with him for awhile---"

"Wait---what?" Sam cuts in, "Dropping me off? I'm staying there? What about you? Surely you meant us?" the kid goes on rambling breathlessly. "Dea--dude, there's no way I'm staying there if you're not gonna be there too. No way!"

"Sam, don't you think you owe me this?" Dean says. The look on his face made Sam groan inside. His big brother looked resentful towards him. It was hurting him looking at Dean, but he doesn't look away either.

"Dean, listen--about taking off on you...I just...you were not talking to me. I know it was childish of me, doing what I did. But it got you talking to me, didn't it?"

"Sam, you have no idea what you did to me, man." Dean says with a bitter smirk as he rubs his face nervously before averting his gaze on the floor by Sam's shoes. "You have no idea."

"Of course I do, Dean. I'm not an idiot." Sam reasons, "I got you upset and I'm sorry --- I deserve it."

"You don't get it, Sam!" Dean spat agitatedly, cutting Sam in altogether. But it wasn't like earlier; he was calmer now.

"Then enlighten me, Dean!" Sam replies. "What is the big deal, Dean? You're mad at me? I get that! I deserve it! But why do you have to drop me off to stay with Pastor Jim over that, man? Why can't we stay together like we planned? We always stick together, Dean! Where you go--I go too! Isn't that what the pact we made is all about, man? If you want us to go camping--we can do that! If you want us to stay here? I can make myself curl up on there you won't even know I'm there. " he says in reference to the single bed. "As long as we're together, man."

"You have no idea what---" Dean started but Sam interrupts him when the younger boy got up.

"I have no idea about what, Dean?"

Dean sat there with his head stooped to his chest for minutes; making Sam nervous and worried and scared. And then the older boy gets up, walking up towards his little brother standing in the middle of the room in that they are facing each other.

"The very reason I was angry at dad, Sam, the very reason I am angry at him again---was because he hurt you. I have been nothing but careful all these years, Sam. Careful. " Dean says, "But what you did, taking off on me like that..." he goes on with a shaky voice, "...you pushed me."

"Pushed you? " Sam asks quietly. He could very well see the tears starting to film his big brother's eyes and that hurt him even more than the look Dean has on at the moment. "Dean, I don't understand--- and careful? Careful of what? What are you talking about?" this time, Sam's own eyes are starting to water.

"Of you, kiddo." Dean replies."All my life, I've always been careful. Dad and mom don't even need to ask me to watch out for you cause I'd do it myself without being told by them. You're my little brother, Sam. It's my job. But doing what you did earlier, you just made me break what I promised myself never to do. And that was to never be like dad and hurt you. " the older boy says, tears trickling down his face. "I did the very same thing to you."

"Oh god, Dean!" Sam gasps, holding back the tears that are wanting to leave his eyes; his arms shot out and both hands planted on Dean's shoulders. "Is that what you thought you did? Hurt me?Cause that was not it at all..."

"Right." Dean scoffs, brushing away his younger sibling's hold on him, walking around Sam towards the bed and sitting there. Sam followed him and sat next to him.

"Dean, I wasn't even hurt, man..." Sam defended. "...it wasn't anything."

"I know what I did, Sam. There was freakin' blood." Dean replies, eyeing his little brother's head, he then cranes his neck to meet the younger boy's eyes. "It's eating me up like you wouldn't believe, dude. I'm no different from him anymore...I'm dad." After having said that, he doubles over and busts out crying in front of his little brother from out of nowhere. "I'm sorry, Sammy. I'm so sorry..."

Sam's hand was a few inches from offering a comforting touch on his big brother's shoulder and he'd have started to say something to him too, only before he could do either, the older boy gets up and disappears into the bathroom; even locking the door behind him. Sam, as he stood there, in the middle of the room, eyes on the door separating him and Dean, tears started to fall.

Sam whispers, "I'm sorry, Dean...I just wanted you to talk to me..."

Chapter Six:

Sam stirs to the door to the bathroom clicking open with Dean coming out of there an hour later. The younger boy had somehow drifted to sleep on the floor just beside the door earlier after his big brother went in there. Their eyes met as he was getting up from the floor; Dean automatically grabs his little brother by the arm to help him get up on his feet; after which he walks towards the couch and started stuffing his stuff in there; along with Sam's stuff that was within his reach.

"You all up and ready to go?" Dean asks the kid.

"Dean, I'm not going anywhere without you." Sam says softly. "Please, man? Don't do this...don't, I beg you."

"Don't do that." Dean muffles to interrupt the kid; without even taking the time to stop doing what he was doing to turn to him.

"Don't do what?" Sam asks as he got alongside his big brother and tugs him on the sleeves making Dean turn to him.

"Beg, Sammy. Don't do that."

"But you're not giving me much choice here, Dean." he reasons.

"You'll have a great time with the guy, Sam." Dean deadpans the younger boy and referenced their dad's pastor friend, "You and him used to play scrabble a lot when we were kids remember? You even learned those nasty tricks from him and quote it against the guy after wards!" he added with a sinister mocking laugh as he stuffed Sam's jacket into the bag. "The look on dad's face back then---" he says to himself all amused, "Priceless, Sammy!"

"Dean, I have nothing against the man. I don't." the kid says, "But I just can't stay with him if you're not gon'na be there?"

"Why not?" Dean whines, "It'd be a shot at independence, Sam!" he says, playfully pumping his brows at the kid and at the same time, giving his little brother a pat on the chest. "It will be fun!"

"No, it will not be fun, Dean and you know it..."

"Yeah," he chuckles. "...it will boring as hell."

"Dean..."

He holds up his hand to silence Sam for a second as he goes on with the packing; only Sam starts to speak his mind again.

"Look, I'm sorry about what I did, alright?"Sam says apologetically, still tugging on his big brother's right arm sleeve. "I didn't mean for it to end up like this, Dean. It's just--earlier--you looked really upset with the phone call call and what-not...I just wanted you to talk to me about it. Share the burden with me, you know? We're brothers after all, man. But then, you shut me out." he says sadly, "I did the best thing to make you talk to me cause it usually works before whenever I pull that stunt on you...but I never ever wanted it to escalate like this; hurt you in the process, Dean. I'm so sorry it did. I did."

"Sam," Dean smirks humorlessly, "...it's the other way around, kiddo." he says, "I always thought that seeing you get hurt by other people was worse, dad included...but as it turns out Sammy, it wasn't that. At all. It was when I hurt you myself. It hurts even more when it is by my very own hands, kiddo."

"Oh god, Dean...please don't dwell on that, man?"

"I hurt you, kiddo. In my book---that makes me--make me nothing but a monster."

"D-dean...you are not a monster, alright? Never gon'na be a monster to me!" Sam defended, "You're my big brother. You would never hurt me on purpose..."

"But I did, Sam."

"No! Alright? No, you didn't hurt me, okay? You didn't. What happened was more like...an accident. YOU accidentally shoved me, I fell over. THAT"S IT!" Sam says exasperatedly and almost at the verge of crying again as he lands both hands on his big brother's shoulders. But since he was all dried-out at the moment, there was pretty much nothing he else he could do but reason with Dean, sans the tears but with all the raw emotions coming out of him. He touches the back of his head for emphasis, to which Dean gasps to.

"Dude!" Dean scolds. "Hands off the head, freak!"

"See?"Sam holds his hand palm up to his big brother. "No blood, Dean. It's practically already healed, man!"

"Right." Dean scoffs, "I'm not three Sam. I'm not an idiot either. That would have probably worked when I was either." he walks around Sam to resume picking their stuff up from all over the motel room. "Hurry up and grab the rest of your stuff, man. Pastor Jim is gonna wait up for you at his home. He wants to make sure you are all settled in there first before he heads off to church later on in the evening for a service."

"Dean, I'm not going without you." Sam says. "Period. You can try dragging me out of here all you want, man. But I am not going without a fight."

"Sure." the older scoffs.

"I'm serious, Dean. Not going."

"Uh-yes you are, Sam." Dean snaps.

"I don't want to."

"Tough. But I say you are. You are going to stay with the guy whether you want to or not, Sam!" Dean says with his voice raised this time as he is facing off with Sam. "I'm still older and what I say goes."

Sam meets his big brother's glare head on but he averts first after a second; he walks around the older boy and sat on the bed. He starts to sob after the tears had started to come back to him.

"For how long?" he asks quietly; keeping his head stooped as low as possible. Dean actually felt bad after raising his voice at the kid earlier and seeing him flinch; but since he wanted to make his plan work-- taking a time-out from each other to avoid the risk of hurting Sam even more than he already had earlier, he held it together. He doesn't enable his feelings and how he would normally react towards his kid brother whenever the kid looks like he is about to cry.

'Damn it!' Dean groans mentally at the scene he is witnessing, Sam starting to cry. "I don't know, Sam." he replies after being able to find his voice. "But just give me this, alright? You owe me this." he says turning away from Sam again, shutting his eyes. Sam looks up and followed Dean with his eyes as the older boy moved around the room.

"Alright, Dean." Sam muffles. "Anything you say."

"That's my boy!" Dean says, still with his back to Sam. A pensive look on his face and concern on there. "All set?" he asks, picking up the duffell to his shoulder and heading for the door.

"Yeah, Dean." Sam says sadly, meekly following the older boy to the door. Dean stood at the doorway holding the door open for Sam, he takes the time to scan the room with his eyes first, turn off the light before he closed the door altogether behind them.

Chapter Seven:

During the entirety of the drive to Pastor Jim's home, Sam hasn't said a single word to his big brother; neither has Dean to Sam. Neither of them had anything to say to each other--and even if they had, neither of them knew where to start and how to go about saying what they had to say to the other. But the drive wasn't without the brothers tossing the other sneaky glances before their gazes would return to their respective temporary homes---Sam towards the patches of scenery outside his side of the window--and Dean, the road ahead of them.

Dean, he never felt as sore before as how he is feeling at the moment; it was like his insides were being clawed out with something really sharp, ripped out of him just as carelessly and then put in a meat grinder for the finale. He is very well aware that he hurt Sam. He hurt his little brother with his very own hands; and it may not have been the same way his dad has done it those two times he laid hands on the kid, but in some crazy way, it still equals to the same thing. Sam was hurt as a direct result. The older boy could not and would not forgive himself for being careless. Doesn't matter how hard one part of him was apologizing to the other, explaining things so as to be understood, to justify the act---but so far, the remaining other part was not listening.

Plain and simple, Dean is hurting. But then again, so was Sam.

Sam, as he sat there watching his big brother all tensed-up and quiet; he felt like reaching over and grabbing the wheel just so he would have an excuse in not reaching Pastor Jim's. The kid was thinking that should they get into an accident should he enable causing the accident himself, that that in itself would be reason enough to divert them from their goal destination which is their pastor friend's home---and he wants that more than anything at the moment; 'Well second to wanting to stay with Dean anyway...' Sam thought to himself. And then eyes find Dean's side of the face again. The kid felt sore. His hand reaches up his head, his hand connected with the wound up there. As he was about to speak up and tell Dean that the wound had somehow closed-up and disappeared or has come off--that was when his hand on his lap gets a swat from the driver. "Ow, Dean!" he growls, slapping his big brother on the arm in retaliation; but neither the swatting or the slapping were venomous. More like playful bantering in a different form. "What was that all about--you bully?" he turns to Dean with an incredulous questioning look on his face. Dean faced him for a quick second before turning his focus back to his driving.

"Hands off the head, bitch!" he says.

"Hey, last time I checked it's my head!" Sam spat, "I can pretty much do anything to it and there is nothing you can do about it! And it's not like you're gonna be around long enough later to stop me when you've dropped me off at Pastor Jim's anyways! I could take it off altogether and what can you do about it by then?"

"Yeah?" Dean challenges. "That so?"

"Yeah!" Sam snorts, "For all you know, I could just take this stupid bandage off altogether later when I get there---after you've left! What do you think you can do about it then, mister? It's not like you're gonna be there to stop me!" he baits Dean again.

"I could be!"

"Really?" Sam's voice turns hopeful excited as he swivels in his seat to face Dean. "You're not just gonna drop me off now? You're staying with me? To you know--make sure I don't take the bandage off?"

Dean was forcing himself not to laugh; his baby brother's petulance just doesn't get old with him.

"Sam---" he starts but the kid cuts him off.

"Dean, I don't want to be there by myself, man..." Sam says sadly.

"Who says you're gonna be anyways?" Dean says, "Pastor Jim's gonna be around. It's his house."

"Dean, you said it yourself--it's gonna be boring as hell without you there with me. Please, please? Don't leave me there by myself?" Sam pleads, "Or what if--what if Pastor Jim turns out to be an alien--or a...a monster--no wait, something scarier. What if he turns out to be a vampire--a vampire! Yes, a vamp, and then he sucks my blood, Dean. All of it. What will you have done by then when you've come back later on and I'm gone? And not just gone-gone. I mean, dead--gone. I'm dead..."

That may have been something amusing, but when Sam said the last part--it made Dean's chest hurt. But he doesn't let it show.

"Murphy? A vampire?" Dean snorts. "Good one, Sam. We both know vampires is just about as real as Santa."

"Deeeean...come on? I am trying to milk for sympathy here..."

"Sam, it's not like I want to leave you here, you know?"

"Well you could have fooled me." Sam mutters like he used to way back when he was 12 and he wanted to tag along to a party but since Dean's girl was coming along, he couldn't .”If I didn’t know any better I think you’ve been wanting to get rid of me for a long time now. Dean. And this is your chance to do that.”

“Okay, you got me.” Dean says resolutely, “Didn’t think you’d be that smart to figure it out, but I was wrong.” He says, “I’m busted. I have been wanting to get rid of your ass for years now. I hate you like I hate bologna" he says."Since the second day you came home from the hospital. When I first saw you, sure I was all excited and stuff. But then the next day--I wanted to get rid of you already. And now, a century later, is that chance I have been waiting for, so I am taking it. I'm not coming back for you anymore. I'll make up something lame to mom and dad how come I'm alone and they'll buy it. ”

Sam tosses him a big spoiled-brat pout that isn’t going to work for just any 18 year old. But since he is not JUST any 18 year old, he pulls it off clean. The pout worked.

“Sammy, you know why I’m dropping you off at Murphy’s, kiddo. And it’s not what you’re thinking, alright? You know I’d never do that----get rid of you—not gonna happen in---EVER, alright? I just need to be by myself for awhile. I need this, Sam. To think things through. To---to learn from my mistake..”

“Mistake? What are you talking about Dean? Is it this again?” Sam says, reaching up for the wound on his head, back of the head courtesy of Dean.

“Sammy, it is eating me like you wouldn’t believe alright?”

“Dean, do you think this isn’t eating me up too inside—seeing you punishing yourself like this? Over what?” Sam snipes, “So you pushed me a little harder than you intended, I bust my head, so what?” he says, “That doesn’t make you any less my big brother, Dean! What does will be if you went on and left me at Pastor Jim’s. I mean it, man. If you leave me there and you take off on me---”

Sam doesn’t even get to finish what he intended to say just then. At the remark, Dean pulls over to the side of the dark dirt road that led to Pastor Jim Murphy’s home 5 miles ahead. His eyes toss darts towards Sam. And then with a huff he gets off the car, slamming the door behind him. Sam could just sit there, also huffing. But at the same time, he was entertaining fear.

It was already dark. He caught 8pm on his watch when his eyes shifted to check it. ‘Pastor Jim ust have already left by now..’ Sam thought, his eyes strained to find the good pastor’s vehicle by his house, but it wasn’t there anymore; confirming the boy’s earlier guess.

And then, his eyes looks over his shoulder as he sat there in the car, alone. He could see Dean walking away when he swiveled in his seat, the older boy was following the dirt road back to the direction they came from earlier. Sam immediately got off the car. He would have wanted to go after his brother but since he knew that would be a bad idea with Dean hopping mad at the moment---he instead got back into the car and waited for Dean there.

If there is one thing Sam knows for sure in his life, it is that Dean would never ever choose to leave him. He is as sure of that fact right there as he knows for sure how much his big brother loves him. Sure Dean would walk out on him sometimes but it wasn’t for long. He always comes back. Always.

It just is a fact of life. And as if Dean was proving it to him, it wasn’t half an hour later when Sam saw his big brother’s form coming from the direction he saw him disappear to earlier. The kid lets out the breath he was holding in for a long time at the sight of the older boy.

Dean finds his way behind the wheel. He didn’t talk right away. It was more or less a couple of minutes later when he did; and he doesn’t even turn to face Sam.

“ Sam----” Dean starts.

“Yeah, Dean…” the kid says meekly.

“---I want you to do me a favor.”

“…what is it?”

This time Dean turns to him, and he looks serious as cancer.

“Don’t ever challenge me again like that, you hear?” Dean says. Sam nodded.

“Anything you say, Dean.”

“Good then.” He says, he then starts the engine and before long they are en route to Jim Murphy’s house again. When they got there, Dean got out the same time Sam did. He even takes the duffel from the kid and carries it for him. Of course Sam wanted to object to that, but since he didn’t want to give Dean any more grief, not when they had just averted a major blow out earlier; and especially not before they are to separate. And for how long---Sam could only groan inside. Dean, with Sam’s duffel over his one shoulder, knocks on the front door. Sam beside him.

“Pastor Jim—“ he calls out.

“His car isn’t at the garage, Dean.” Sam pointed out.”Maybe he already left for the service.”

“Maybe. We got here pretty late.” Dean replies, looking into the window.

“I’ll just wait for him to get back, man.” Sam says, reaching for his duffel from Dean. “I’ll just stay out here. You can go now.”

Dean doesn’t say anything but he does give Sam a blank look as he goes down the steps back to the car. Sam sighs heavily to that. ‘He’s still too upset to even say his proper goodbyes…’ the kid says to himself dejectedly. He was expecting to hear the roaring of the engine any second then since he already heard Dean’s driver side door open. ‘This sucks!’

And then to his surprise, as his back was turned just then, he instead of the engine, hears the door open again. When he turns around, he sees Dean coming up the steps with his duffel over his shoulder.

“Alright, alright—enough with the creepy grin, Sam!” Dean spat in reference to the happy, surprised look on his younger brother’s face.

“You’re staying with me?”

“Just until you’ve settled yourself in in there.” Dean says, “But tomorrow, I’m taking off for my needed time-out, you hear? And you’re letting me.”

“We’ll cross the bridge when we get there, man!” Sam says happily.

It was already 10pm. But still no Jim Murphy. The brothers, for the time being both find themselves at one end of the porch; at the corner, and since there were no furniture out there like they have at their house, they are on the floor instead, sitting there next to each other. For the past hour or so, they have been talking themselves silly. Just having a blast hanging out like they normally did at home. Telling jokes, memories and childish secrets they would just remember from out of nowhere. It was a great night.

And then as unlikely for snow to fall in the Sahara, it happened. They heard gunshots coming from a distance. Dean orders Sam to stay down as he carefully extends his gaze towards the direction from where they guessed it had come from. Another shot filled the air—Sam grabs Dean back down at this.

“What the hell---“ Dean gruntles.

And then they hear long after that, four men appear scrambling up the porch steps just as the brothers are getting up to their feet, with Dean keeping Sam behind him the entire time. His eyes wander to the guys’ faces; they all looked like they were up to no-good and judging by the guns they are carrying, and one of them all bloody on the arm; it was a pretty good assessment on his part.

He then suddenly felt cold and scared at the same time, Dean, not out of cowardice at the face of danger; it was more after the thought hit him. The thought that mainly revolves around a big ‘What if’. What if he took off and left Sam earlier? That would have meant leaving his baby brother by himself to handle these bastards alone---and that right there, scared him like he had already lost Sam.